ain't it like most people,
i'm no different.
we love to talk on things we don't know about...

thank you Avett Brothers for these words of truth.

something that i don't really know much about is how to FULLY live.

i was reading a blog the other day, from this girl i know, who just LIVES.
she loves people, and she experiences things...
she sees others for who they are, and she is honest.

and i found myself envious of this life that seemed to be so FULL.

i thought, what makes a persons life like this?
circumstance?
people?
God?
hardship?
luck?

i was reminded of the time that i spent in Jamaica in college.
when i think about it,
the days in Jamaica were the days that i was probably most ALIVE.
where i cherished every moment, every child's small hand, every smile and conversation.
where i would stop by people's houses to say hello, and sit on front porches.
where i would take naps in the beds of friends
in the sunlight with tiny babies

it was life FULL and at it's best.
it was light and simple.
not easy, but...
simple.

i feel somehow that life has become heavy.
i am burdened by things.
by the world, by people, by bad weather and slow buses and angry neighbors.
i dont ENJOY the slow pace, the conversations, the lazy afternoons with families that i love.

i dont think that it is necessarily dependent upon the place,
but i know that somehow, where i am now,
its harder and harder to find this simplistic life that i once knew.
and my heart longs for it.

i cant sleep at night these days.
ive never before had a problem with sleeping,
so i don't really know what to do about it,
but i dont like it.
my mind runs and runs and never stops...

i pray for peace.
i pray for simplicity.