ive realized that for me, making decisions is not something that comes easily.

its not so much that i dont know what i want to do, because in actuality i do know what i want.
its more that i just dont know whats RIGHT.
and i am not sure what other people are going to think about the things i decide.
and if my decisions effect people in positive or negative ways matters to me.
and MAINLY i have a really hard time discerning what God has to say about certain decisions.

i think that i cling so tightly to this idea that there must be a BEST decision, that there has to be one way that is right, that it causes me to really get hung up on small things.
it causes me to get hung out on big things too, but i feel better about thinking a lot about big decisions...

anyway, i spent the past two days (actually more like 24 hours) at a conference.
the topic was "how to lead the young generation to Christ"
pretty applicable to my situation you could say...

honestly, i didnt really want to go. but i did.
and im glad i did.
besides the fact that i had to have someone translate everything, i feel like i learned some stuff. and got fresh perspective.

i have a lot to think about...
like the gospel is relevant to everyone, everywhere.
BUT naturally when sharing the gospel we tend to exagerate or focus on the things that we relate to the best, or that seem to fit in nicely with experiences in our own lives. in otherwords, we contextualize it for ourselves, whether we do it consciously or not.

so basically i need to be thinking about how i can appropriately and accurately contextualize the gospel for kids that i am hanging out with, not by changing the truth and message of the gospel, but by sharing it not in ways that only relate to me and to america, but in ways that relate to them and the czech republic as well.

its not as complicated as it may sound... but i do think its important to be aware of certain aspects of Jesus that we tend to highlight in america, and instead look at the Bible and see what things God seems to think are the most important.

ALSO, im really enjoying being here. and the thought of the next three years isnt so burdensome and terribly frightening and almost unbearable feeling anymore. it actually kind of makes me really happy and excited and joyful.

so i give God praise for changing my heart in that.
and i pray that He will continue to shake me so much that myself falls out of me and only He remains.